I am changing things around.
I got bored with how it looked.
I know the changes are not really that drastic… but I like them.
I’m sorry for the things that are broken.
I promise I will get around to fixing them soon.
I can’t promise I will have anything interesting to say anytime in the near future. So I hope the ascetic overhaul is exciting enough.
We need a good rain here. One of those four day, torrential downpour, everything feels wet, kind of rains. We have gone into rationing mode and my water was out most of the weekend. I had water for a few hours (like 3 hours exactly) in the evening on Saturday and for a Few hours Sunday evening. Which would have been fine if it was just me, but I gave a Farwell To’onai’i (Sunday lunch) for a good friend of mine who leaves tonight. There were about 20 people at my house yesterday. And let me tell you, if you thought dishes were a pain try having a house full of people with a toilet that won’t flush. (I had a big bucket of water for manual flushing but still, it’s a pain).
Anyway like I said we need a good rain. I can tell that the “cool and dry” season is coming to an end and the “hot and wet” season is right around the corner. A few clues are that it doesn’t get as cold at night anymore. Not cold enough for my blanket anyway. The “high” temperatures of the day are two or three degrees higher than they were a week ago. And I can feel the increased humidity on my skin and in my joints. My body is surprisingly adept at feeling barometric pressure. Which is a new thing for me since having lived in the Bay Area for most of my life, it was never an issue. The air has been very dense for the past few days. It gives off this feeling like it is just about saturated and could break into a rainstorm at any second. But it never does and just continues to be hot and hard and nearly full but never breaking.
But I know that the weather like my down mood can’t last forever. Soon it will break. The rain will come. Everything will cool down for a few hours and it will feel like a great relief. The pressure in the air will go down and my mood will lighten. My joints will adjust and stop aching as much.
I wonder if there is an Anti-SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) were you get down when it doesn’t rain for a few weeks and is sunny all the time?
I got home last night and there was Water. So I filled up all my buckets and large bowls, and did some dishes. I have this “When the dish drainer is full, you are done doing Dishes, for now” rule that works well for me. It means that I don’t usually spend more than 15 min washing dishes. When I do spend more than 15 min washing dishes, it is usually because I have lots of silverware to wash (Darn me and my admiration for using forks). I may have to come back and wash more dishes later but knowing it won’t last long always helps. I like washing pots and pans the best because the dish drainer fills up quickly.
This rule is one of the many little ways I created for myself in order to better cope with the change of lifestyle from Silicon Valley to Third world country. I may not have a dishwasher… but I don’t spend a lot of time doing dishes.
Along those lines is the “use as few dishes as possible and eat or drink out of original containers whenever possible” in order to make less dishes, rule. This is convenient for now but I fear I may have deplorable manners and need to be re-housebroken when I am done here and go home.
In related news… I woke up at some point last night to the sound of rain falling outside my window. It was cool and I felt a strange sense of relief. However when I woke up this morning the water was off again. The plus to bucket showering is that I can boil some of the water first and dump it back in to the bucket, for a lukewarm bucket shower. (As opposed to a freezing cold, water from the pipe first thing in the morning shower.) I am not saying that I think I will give up regular showers in favor of the bucket shower; I am simply reaching in order to find the good in an otherwise… inconvenient (and annoying) situation.
The water in my village has been wonky for the past week. It has been on and off at unpredictable intervals all week. My neighbor, who works for the Water Authority thinks we need rain. I mentioned to him that it rained some this weekend and he replied that the rain this weekend was simply a small drop in the bucket. And speaking of buckets, I have had to bucket shower three times this week. This morning included. I hadn’t had to bucket shower since January when the water was out after the Cyclone. It is certainly giving me a little more of that “I live in an third world country” feeling. Which is not a bad thing. Every once in a while it is good to be reminded that things could be a lot worse.
As a response to the wonky water situation I have been filling buckets when the water is on in order to assure that I get some sort of shower at least a few times a day. My dishes however are backing up in the sink. I rinse them (with bucket water) so they are not very attractive to the ants, but they still need a good washing and sanitizing. Something that I have not been able to motivate myself to do while the water is on, and when I seem to find the motivation the water is off. So they sit rinsed and stacked neatly in the very dry kitchen sink.
I hope it rains soon.
I should never be allowed to drink coffee in the evenings. It is bad and leads to sleepless nights. Monday night I turned the lights off at 10:30 (after having two cups of coffee over the course of the evening) and found myself still awake at 3:30. So I got up, did some more yoga, took a couple of Tylenol PM and finally drifted of to sleep sometime about an hour later. Fortunately I didn’t have to go into work on Tuesday.
I had taken the day off in order to run around and get everything ready for the Swearing in Party for Group 72. They swore in at Coconuts Resort in the morning and we threw them a beach party/BBQ at Taumeasina yesterday afternoon. I think it went over pretty well.
It did however make it clear to me that I am a much better “Man behind the curtain” than a Social chair. I attribute this to my belief that “everyone does exactly what he or she wants to do, and no one should have to be talked into anything”, which naturally makes me a lousy motivator. And often when dealing with crowds a motivator/director/cattle prod is needed. I’m just no good at it.
But at least I covered this time… I make no promises about next time.
Around 9 we met up at EyeSpy for a few more drinks with the New Volunteers and I didn’t get home until far after my bed time. At least we got in a late night SunRise run. (SunRise is a Chinese TOGO food place that caters to feeding the late night post parting crowd. The food is greasy and only moderately tasty but it does the job for those late nights when you had a few to many.) So now I have gone two nights without a decent nights sleep. Fortunately I haven’t yet turned into the ugly green monster “Tired Cranky Dorie” but I figure that if I don’t go home immediately after work and fall into a comma she will rear her ugly head.
Ok, time for me to head to the office to pick up what I hope is a package from Max. Have a great day everyone.
I left the Peace Corps office about noon on Saturday with several good friends to get a bus to Lalomanu. Lalomanu has what is quite possibly the most beautiful beach in the world. The bus was packed and the ride lasted just under two hours. It wasn’t tooo uncomfortable I just get a little motion sickness when I get off of the bus. The plan was to spend the night at the Tafua beach Fales but they were all booked up so we stayed at the place next door. Which wasn’t to bad and significantly cheeper.
We brought chicken to BBQ so Blaine set up camp and started manning the grill. In the mean time the rest of us spread out to swim, read, or nap (I chose to nap of course). At which point it began to rain. The rest of the afternoon was spent eating, lazing and losing to Clair at Scrabble. At some point after the sun set the rain stopped.
We sat around and drank and talked in to the wee hours of the night. At some point there was a night swim expedition that went over pretty well. We met some drunk Australian tourists who tried to tell John that teaching computers doesn’t count as “volunteer work” because he comes from a developed nation and apparently everyone in developed nations know how to “point and click”. We got them to leave as quickly as possible before John punched them and we let him.
Sunday we packed up early and left for town on the 10:45 bus. Another 2 hours later we were back in town. Which gave me just enough time to get home, make some cookies, get showered and cleaned up before I had to be at a writing/reading group.
I am glad I got out. I feel more tired than rested but I figure I won’t have many more chances to take these trips after I get a puppy. Also I came back with a little sunburn, re-confirming my hatred for the big all of burning gas in the sky.
Spammers have found wackyfish…
I guess it was only a matter of time
When I logged in this morning I found about 10 viagra spam messages posted in various comments. Stooopid spammers.
So for the first time since putting this site up, I have had to block an IP.
Hopefully said spammer will just go away, but likely they will turn up again with another IP and an equally moronic message and waste both my time and theirs. That or they will tell their stooped spammer friends.
Ugggg…
Are you a morning person?
Do you really know anyone who is?
Last night I was in bed about 9:30 falling asleep over my book when I decided to shut of the light and go to sleep for real. So you would think that it wouldn’t be too difficult for me to get up at 6 am, having had eight and a half hours of sleep. But then you would be wrong. I set the alarm for 6, but when it went off I still couldn’t manage to wrangle myself out of the bed for another 40 min. 40 min that I meant to be doing yoga.
This same battle has been going on for at least a month. I set the alarm… It go back to sleep… I don’t do the yoga. Ok sometimes I get up and do the yoga but that happens about 2 out of 5 days a week (and sometimes less).
I want to blame it on “Not being a morning person”, but I’m just not sure that is a valid excuse. Grrrr
In other news… I paddle again tonight. I am not as sore and whiney as last time, so I will not subject you to the run down on how I feel.
And for those of you who addicted to the web I hope y ou ate taking a look at Google each day. Those guys crack me up.
In a shocking turn of events…It looks like I am going to the beach this weekend. A good friend is organizing a trip of people to go out to Lalamanu and spend Saturday night at the beach and come back on Sunday.
Given that I spend most of my weekends at home, doing housework, yoga, or reading, it should be a nice change. That and it has been recommended that I get out more (to someplace other than Pisa’s house). So I (who naturally dislike beaches) am going to the beach this weekend. A bunch of my favorite people are going to be there so it should be a good time. I am contemplating a camping trip at the National Park (it has a rainforest, maybe I will find a monkey) for my next adventure, but don’t hold your breath.
Anyway, as soon as I get my puppy these weekend adventure will come to a quick halt at least for a while.
In other news… I paddled again last night. It was my longest paddling work out yet. It was hard, and wet, and now my arms are on fire. I am supposed to go again on Thursday. I make no promises.
And lastly I think I have officially reached “Disillusioned”. It has a lot to do with my work situation. I AM getting a lot of work done, and I AM being very useful and productive and I AM even doing some sustainable work. However there are a few cultural aspects of my job that have finally caused me to reach a state of disillusionment. There is not a whole lot I can or even should do about it. It is just something I am going to have to accept and work through. My way is not necessarily the BEST way for these people and this culture. I have to once again go back to the concept that “different is not bad… just different (even if it is wearing a mask that is distasteful to me).” BAH… More development and cultural roadblocks standing in my way…. It is apparent that this is going to be the Status Quo. Why don’t I get over it and move on? Disillusionment is overrated.
Me: tell me about the nice cold weather in Seattle right now... please
friend: It's totally frigid. It snowed the other day. Eskimos have been knocking on my door, and I saw a wooly mammoth today.
My first gig as VAC Social Chair is going to be to plan the Group 72 post-swearing in party/bash/shindig thing. This is funny because I am not doing a lot of partying or bash attending lately. I seem to be in this mellow phase were I prefer to stay home and read and do yoga. Which is fine for me… It just doesn’t leave me a lot of motivation for throwing a fabulous gig. And the kids in Group 72 seem really neat and deserve a fabulous gig. I’m sure I will come up with something.
In the mean time… Paddling practice starts up again this week. Tomorrow is the first day back in a while. And of course I feel a backache coming on. Tho I am sure it is largely psychosomatic since I still haven’t managed to convince myself that paddling is fun. And Tailofa my yoga instructor leaves for a yoga month long yoga tour at the end of the week. Which means I am on my own without classes for a month.
Ok enough of this Monday rambling.
I gave another small dinner/birthday party last night. This time it was for Holly. She is a real sweetie girl, and is usually the one to make all the cookies and cakes for everyone else’s birthdays or parties. So this time I attempted to make the cake. It turned pretty ok. Mo and I made a veggie lasagna, Tosi brought garlic bread, and Blaine brought a salad. I think everyone had a good time.
Part of me hopes it rains all weekend. The other part knows I have a lot of laundry to do and since the Sun is my dryer, it’s not such a good idea. There is a bunch of other stuff going on this weekend (including work some “overtime”) and hopefully making time for a bike ride or swim. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Oh and in other news… My shoulder keeps falling out. It hurts but I always feel like Gumby when it does {wink}.
Every night SBC, the one TV channel here plays a late movie. It usually starts between 9 and 10pm so I rarely get to see it (As I am generally in bed with my book before then).
But last night I stayed up way past my bed time last night to watch “I am Sam”. I love that movie. Not only is the music great (I was recently outted by my parents as a big Beatles Fan, back in the day) but the story always makes me feel better about life. The whole movie is pretty tragic in many ways. The characters have a lot of trouble and some big issues to face and adapt and overcome or adjust. But the fact that you see the struggle and the importance and the love remain… well it just makes me feel better. And the random Beatles trivia is really neat too!
Dwain “The Rock” Johnson is here in Samoa visiting his family and the country. His mother is Samoan, and he is half Samoan. She is originally from Lalomanu, which may be the most beautiful place on earth. Anyway, his visit has the whole country up in arms. Nothing like a native son, who makes it big and then return home to stir everyone up.
And in other news… It looks like there is no chance of a trip home in September for me. The business trip I was going to extend to a few weeks holiday has been cancelled. I am sad but trying not to think about it to much. I’m sure at some point when it is right I will get home. If not, well I only have about 18 months left.
I am doing so much work these days that my forearms and writs are beginning to hurt. Who would have thought that RSI’s would be an issue here in Samoa? A side effect of being productive anywhere in my line of work I guess.
In other news, I wanted to post a picture of my tomato plants but I can’t find the cable to upload pics from my camera. As soon I find one with a similar cable I will barrow it. Until then, no new pics from me.
And along the lines of being productive, I have spent a bulk of the day in my old office working on some computers there. So I got to hang out with Pisa, Jaka, and Tamiano a bunch. I really miss them. Having my own office (even though I technically share it) is not nearly as fun as sharing one with them. I miss the joking, the gossiping, the music, the food, and all the fun we had everyday. I mean I still have a lot of fun here, I just have to leave my office to go do it, as opposed to just having the fun come to me. And being me, sometimes I get so wrapped up in work that I forget to leave my office and go have fun. I am working on fixing that tho.
I finished Hillary Clintons book “Living History” last night. I have been reading a lot about politicians lately. Most of it makes me ill but every now and then I run in to something positive and hopeful.
I had to go home early yesterday because I had a splitting headache and I could hardly walk. So I spent the afternoon reading, stretching, and icing my feet. It seems to have helped some. At least I am not hobbling around today. This morning I went in to see Dr. Atherton about my PF. Dr. Atherton is a funny little man from New Zealand who moved here to practice in his old age. He talks about your weight in “stones” and says “um” a lot. Oh also he has a funny intonation in the way he speaks. I can’t describe it very well other than to say it kind of makes him sounds like a clown.
The time has come for me to get a dog.
I want a puppy I can train and raise as a Palagie dog. One that I can train to be housebroken and sleep indoors, have regular baths, like healthy food for a dog, and one that will get regular treatments of advantage to keep him flea free.
This means I need an advantage sponsor.
I have a friend who works with the Samoa Animal protection society and she said she would help me find a suitable puppy. So if you feel like doing a good thing and sponsoring a flee free dog, please send me an e-mail. My future puppy and I thank you very much.
Also I have Plantar Fasciitis . I let it go and now it sucks and is real bad. I have a meeting with the Med officer this afternoon to talk about it. Grrrrrr.
My new magic hat is here.
It is considerably smaller than my last magic hat and may not do me as much good. I will give it a few days before re-ordering the original magic hat again. Who knows, maybe it will stretch.
In other news, I found a centipede in my living room last night. It had to have been at least six inches long. I suffocated it with Mortien and then crushed with a solid heavy wooden block I use for yoga. Having never seen a centipede in my own house before he really startled me. He is just about the same color as my “carpet” and had he been still instead of moving I would have missed him entirely and likely stepped on him, casing him to have to bite me.
And lastly I am trying to not swear anymore for a while. Pisa scolded me yesterday and said I had a “potty mouth”. I have a bad mouth and I have for a long time, so I am not being very effective. But I really hate it when Pisa (or any of my aunties) is disappointed in me so I am giving it a try. Wish me some damn luck.
So it looks like I am going to be on VAC (Volunteer Action Committee, which is sort of the PC version of your High School Student Counsel). I got hoodwinked into becoming the VAC Social Chair. The last one resigned and no one else wanted to take her place so I let myself be talked in to it. I think it may have been all those jokes I told at the last FiaFia that made people think of me for the job.
Damn me and my humorous whit. (And for those of you who don’t know me very well, I am blatantly making fun of myself!)
I hope this whole endeavor back into the world of small time politics is a positive experience. I hope to be able to help smooth out some difficulties we have been facing as an organization. And without giving any more details it could shape up to be quite a task. However in lue of a positive experience I will hope for a learning experience.
I think I may have moved onto the next phase. The phase just past an “existential crisis” to a state of “writer’s apathy”. This is the place were I spend a lot of time complaining about my writing without actually doing any. I hope this makes me real real hip, because it isn’t good for much else.
Also I still have a back ache. I haven’t been in a boat in over a week and I had two great massages this weekend. So you would think that my back would stop hurting by now… but it hasn’t. Oh and if that wasn’t bad enough, the AC in my office is broken and the humidity is back up to about 95%.
Hope everyone else is having a sunshiny day.
I am finding my writing as of late has to be excruciatingly boring. It vaguely reminds me of reading the lunch menu at greasy spoon in a hick town. Which is not a cry for approval, (In fact, please don’t) just a statement of how I feel about my writing lately.
The thing is, at this point in my life I HAVE to write. I can’t not write, if I try I just go crazy. Writing is the way that I process and deal with the world around me. If I can’t write about life, then I may as well just be a zombie going through the motions and not having any idea what is happening. I have turned myself into the writer, Bukowski describes. Someone who writes not because they WANT to but because they can’t really DO anything else.
And the real kicker to this is... I just don’t like anything I have written lately.
It feels dry and uncreative. I can sense a feeling of obligation in it when I re-read my own work. Like it is something I am forcing myself to do and my resentment over having to do it seeps out in undertones of.... boringness.
The up side of this whole thing is that I can step back and say, “Hey look, I am having an existentialist writers crisis.” Which is kind of neat in a detached sort of way. It seems like a very hip sort of thing. And I’m not terribly hip these days, so everything helps.
At least I am laughing at myself, which is always important.