I went to the fish market yesterday to get some fresh tuna from Bev (a former PCMO and my favorite fish vendor.) They were out of fish but she said that her boat was expected in likely today. So this morning I trekked over to the fish market and not only was her boat not in, but they had no idea when it would be in. I glanced over at the other fish vendors and noticed that the pickings are slim all over these days.
We can really feel the effects of the over fishing that is going on here. It is sad. I guess it is one more of those tricky development questions. What is more useful to Samoa as a country; the big money we get from Japan and other countries to over fish our waters; or enough fish to feed ourselves?
I really enjoy all the very fresh fish I eat here. I thought I would miss it when I went I went home. As it turns out I may have the opportunity to miss it before then.
In other news… WOW Katrina… I just saw some pictures. Ouch.
We don’t get a whole lot of news here, but what I am seeing looks bad. Is it really that bad?
Things are getting heavy and busy.
I suspect that this is typical for this point in service.
I had begun making a list of things I haven’t done or just want to do again before I go.
Day Trip to Sliding Rock.
Day trip to Pula Cave Pools
Falealupo Rainforest Canopy walk (haven’t done this yet).
Stay someplace in Manase other than Vacations.
Visit Lala and Paul in Savaii
Stay on Namua Island.
Speaking of Nauma…. Kevin and Taialofa are taking a group of people out there for a yoga retreat in a few weeks and I want to go. It is going to cost $280 tala. (like $120 US) And I’m not sure I can afford it. That is already half price and includes lodging (two nights), food (six organic meals), transport (Bus and boat) and 8 hours of yoga instruction (4, 2 hour sessions, include one “Back Care” and one “Trance Dance” session). Namua is supposed to have a lot of turtles, great snorkeling, a beautiful around island hike, and this time of year you can sometimes see dolphins off the south east coast of the island.
GAH… Well see what happens I guess.
I am supposed to have a VAC meeting that weekend anyway. (Which I could probably get changed but…)
Sinalei was everything is should have been.
Relaxing, luxurious, beautiful, with good food and good company.
It was a really nice treat. The weekend was rather emotional however and I am finding myself drained and weary.
I am actually looking forward to finding some peace and refuge in work. It should be a busy week and it seems like the countdown to finish or accomplish something before I leave is in full force. Thank goddess I know how to sate my emotions and anxiety with workaholic tendencies. (Note: sarcasm)
I wish I had more pictures of the weekend. Actually I wish I had any pictures of the weekend. Hopefully I will be able to get some shots from other volunteers to keep for my own.
The happy news is that today is my last day of work this week.
I finished putting together the database I needed to get done so I am taking tomorrow off to go to the Group 74 swearing in ceremony and then go home and fire my house girl. She has been making expensive phone calls on my phone after I asked her not to, not really spending the time she claims to my house (she is paid by the hour and I found out she is claiming more hours than she actually works) and small things have started disappearing. Which makes me very very sad since I really wanted to trust her. I liked her and I not only paid her well, but I treated her more like a friend than an employee. I never disrespected her and was very generous with her. Generous both in trust and money and resources. So I am sad that she has let me down.
In other news we head off to Sinalei for our COS conference on Thursday. I cannot wait. Although I really need to make some major decisions by then and I am still no closer to doing so than I was a few days ago.
GAH…
I have begun discussing dates for my departure with my counterpart here at EPC. It is a mildly traumatic experience, for everyone I think. None the less I am finding my self in a positive nostalgic place. I remember just after I started working and living here in January of 2004 I spent a lot of time being very frustrated. I didn’t understand the culture or much of the language and so many things seemed more difficult than they should normally be. Things like getting a direct answer to my questions, or learning when to reasonably expect things to happen or get done. Everyone around me seemed insane or worse, lazy. The truth is that I simply didn’t understand what was going on. Communication just works differently here, from what I was used to in America. Most things work differently here actually, now that I think about it. I am laughing at myself as I write this. I experienced so much anxiety and stress.
I am a whole lot more masani (accustomed to the way of life) now, and things like communication methods and motives for working (or not working) make a whole lot more sense to me now. At some point I learned to not have any expectations and that also helped a lot. Life is still pretty crazy here, but it is crazy in a way I understand…. I guess that makes all the difference.
I love fai (say: FA-ee) They are small sweet bananas. They taste great, are cheep, and easy to get and eat on the go. However they do a number on my system.
I need to lay off the fai for a while.
Fortunately Mango season is right around the corner.
I am back at work.
I was here for a while yesterday but it hurt too much to sit so I went home early.
It is still pretty painful to sit for long periods of time, so I am taking a lot of breaks. I feel like I just aged 30 years.
I saw Dr. Atherton right after my last post and he said that I pulled a muscle in my lower back and that it was pretty common. He gave me drugs and sent me on my way. I spent the rest of Wednesday at home trying to lay as still as I possibly could.
The main part of my job right now is data entry, for a big important database. Which means a lot of sitting. Which I can’t really do, for long. So a good part of yesterday was spent at home lying very still as well. In the evening Mikaele came home and gave me back rub.
This morning I decided I would try work again. I am sore. But functioning.
I talk myself in and out of traveling every other day.
One day I feel like if I don’t travel afterwards I never will. The next I figure that I have a lifetime. And if I get an RN, I can live and work anyplace I want in the world, and travel all the time. The next day I think, “wait! you need to save your money because not only do you not have a whole in the first place but you are really really going to need it later.” Then I think, besides Everything you have read says that the countries you are currently considering visiting (Thailand and India) are not at all safe to travel alone in right now. Not for a single American woman anyway. Then I think, surely someone will go with me. That is right before I remember that I am a rather selective (read: cranky) person and there is likely only one person in the world I would really enjoy traveling with. If anyone is taking bets on wither I do or do not travel before I head back to SF… I would love to know the odds you are giving.
I seem to be living this current phase of my life in a much more lucid state than any other time I can remember. As if other times were simply a dream and when I was in the moment of them I had no idea that I was asleep. Maybe my current state of lucidness has a lot to do with the finite amount of time I have left. Unfortunately this awareness of where I am and what I am doing doesn’t bring the peace that you might think it should. I think this may be because my sense of peace is currently to busy being run over by the MAC truck that are my feelings of restlessness for whatever unknown is next…
Oh lordy, I am becoming intolerable even to myself. I will stop now.
Goodnight all.
Today was the national observance of Father’s day in Samoa. Technically Fathers day was yesterday. However the government likes to give the day after as a work holiday when that holiday falls on a Sunday. I am presuming that this is so that everyone can recover from the festivities. None the less, it was nice to have a day off. If I had been more on my game I would have arranged to go away for the weekend to a nice beach someplace.
Instead I stayed at home and went to To’onaii at Jona’s house on Sunday. I took Ethan with me because he happened to be in town and was feeling a bit down (His American family were just in country visiting and the after visit can be a bit of a let down.) I am good friend of George’s (Jona’s dad) so it was nice to have a surrogate dad to appreciate on the day. I brought him a cake and he made sure I ate plenty of palosami and fried chicken. After lunch I laid on the floor with his kids, who are a lot like my own siblings and watched “The Gods must be crazy” while napping on and off. It was a good (and very typically Samoan) Sunday. But it lead me to wonder. Am I going to crave palosami and fried chicken in a few months? Will Deb and James lay on the floor and giggle and watch TV with me. Will it be the same? Should it be?
Oh also… weed wackers are the devil and should be banished from the earth. Especially before the hours of 9 am on a “I could sleep in” holiday.
Especially old maps. But really any kind of map usually makes me pretty happy. And I got a few new maps today.
They are maps of the transformer layout on both Upolo and Savaii.
So while they are not very pretty maps they are super useful right now.
Espe ally since all the documentation I have to go along with them was hand written by Tauti and is real shaky…. Looking at it makes me a little sad. I have a few birthday cards from my grandfather before he died with the same shaky handwriting on them.
Amanda and I made the prettiest dinner last night. It was a small little birthday dinner for Mo and Holly. Just the four of us girls sat around and ate pretty food, drank too much wine, and laughed until we cried. All of the food was visually stunning. I wish I had my camera.
This morning while sipping my Coffee with Pisa and Auntie Lea, John approached me and informed me that we finally got our meeting with the Transformer Engineer out at Vaitele. It was scheduled for 8:30am. Despite my slight hangover (from the too much wine last night) I was thrilled! Our transport arrived late and we didn’t get to Vaitele until almost 9:30 but oh well…
Tauti is the engineer that has been maintaining the transformers in Samoa since sometime in the 70’s. When we got there he was shirtless and strangely lodged under a huge transformer. He unlodged himself and gave us a big toothless grin as he put on his shirt and showed us into his office. Among other things on his desk in his office were
1. Half and Eleni and bread sandwich
2. A bible
3. Something that looked like a carburetor, however transformers don’t have carbs so I have no idea what it really was.
He lit up when I spoke FaaSamoa to him and he gave me all of the information he had. It isn’t quite what I need, but it is a good start to finishing this project. Or at least getting it someplace that someone else can pick it up and finish it.
So far it has been a really productive day.
Tim Tam’s are (IMHO) the world’s best cookie.
I think they are Australian. There is no equal in America. My own homemade CCC is pretty amazing for a cookie, but really nothing compares to a Tim Tam.
They are also currently on sale at Foodland. Mikalele has brought home a packet of the “Double Coat” TT’s for the past two nights. I love and hate him both for this.
As of this morning there is now a Tim Tam ban at my house. This is for both my sake and there’s.
My Samoan Father from my training village came to see me in my office this morning. The power at the family home in Siufaga was disconnected for non-payment and he wanted me to fix it. So I did. I took some money out of my US account and just paid the bill and the re-connection fee. Normally this goes against my personal AID philosophy because simply giving money or gifts often (at least here) creates more of a dependence than real assistance. I did it this time however out of guilt. I haven’t been to see my family in over a year now, and as much as I try to not let it get to me… I am feeling guilty. Which doesn’t actually mean I am going to go and visit them. It just means that I am a whole lot weaker when they come and ask me to fix there power bill.
GAH…
In other news, Mo and I had lunch today. It was nice to be hanging out with her again. We needed a break from each other after NZ but enough time has passed that we were able to really enjoy each others company this afternoon. We met for lunch and then ran some errands together. We went to the Bank, the Post Office and even managed to stop at Chan Mow’s do some window shopping for fabric. It was fun and girly and I remembered how much I love to have a partner in crime when going through all the crappy “must do” errands of life.
And lastly… it looks like I am going to take the GRE.
If you think that I might be scared shitless… well then you are RIGHT.
I may feel a whole lot better about the test if we manage to get the fee’s waved but we will see what happens with that. If nothing else I can always use this as practice (assuming the fees get waived) and then take it again later for real.
Didn’t I used to be real smart at some point in my life? Have my brains seeped out through my ears since then? I guess we will find out.
I have a half day at work today.
This afternoon I am headed out to the training village to help with a session on “Working in a Samoan office setting” with some of the trainees. It should be very interesting.
I have been playing hostess to some guests from out of town on and off for the past week. Last night they invited me to go to Lalomanu (my most favorite beach in the world) with them for a few days. They even offered to pick up the cost of my stay, as a thank you for my own hospitality. It is a tempting offer. Two nights at my favorite Beach fales, with good friends. Unfortunately I don’t think I can go. I have been promised that the “really big meeting” that will take my project to the next step is going to happen Tuesday Morning. And at this point I can’t really afford to allow or encourage any more delays on this project.
My favorite Spaniard said “I hate wait” (bonus points if you know the Character I speak of.) I am having a “hate wait”ing kind of day.
I am trying to savor the last few months in Samoa. Drink in the very essence of life here and enjoy it fully. However today it is as if ants have invaded my body and are repeating “next, next, next” over and over again while jumping up and down inside me. Or like a barely contained energy that about to boil over. It is making it difficult to remain undistracted and in the moment.
This is my challenge today.
What is yours?
I love power outages at work. No wait…I don’t really love them as much as I love telling stories about them.
This afternoon the power went out for about 20 min. When this happens any actual work that is being done in the office comes to a screeching halt. Everyone comes out of there office, and out from behind their desks and we just kafau (hang out, generally doing nothing) until the power comes back on. I like to kafau with my work mates but generally in these circumstances, when nothing else is going on, I become the center of attention. (Being not only Palagie but the ONLY Palagie in the office, and one with dreadlocks and a nose ring, who lives alone and at 30 is not married… well I not only stand out, I am a Rock Star!) More often than not this makes me uncomfortable, and I run for it. Just like I did today.
As soon as I had the servers down and the power supplies shut off I slipped out the door and down to the bakery with my book, for a quiet cup of coffee. No one caught me and I made it downstairs completely unnoticed.
I settled in with my coffee and my book and was thoroughly enjoying the experience.
Then Dick (which is what he prefers to be called) came into the Bakery with his entourage.
Dick is a 64 year old volunteer. He came in with my group and while we are not super close, we have always been friendly with each other. He teaches at St. Josephs school in town and is loved by all his students. And it is not hard to see why. Imagine a funny clown in the body of an old man. That is Dick.
After managing to shake the 5 or six boys who seem to always be following him around he sat down at my table with his tuna sandwich and proceeded to spend a good 5 min telling me about why he switched from his old usual of a ham sandwich to his new usual of a tuna sandwich. (In case you are wondering… They don’t use real ham anymore, they use the canned meat. I suspect they used the canned meat all along… but I think it is best he probably not know that.) At some point, after the lecture on sandwiches… he asked me about my plans for after PC. To which I just sighed deeply and said “I haven’t made up my mind about anything yet.” Then Dick lookedme in the eye and he said “Dorie, you are a very impressive girl. You could do anything you wanted to. But whatever you choose I’m sure you will find it within you to be happy doing it.”
At which point I sort of teared up and mumbled something like… thank you for that…or something else ineligible. I think I was floored because really it IS that simple.
My future happiness is not ultimately about what I choose to do, but rather the choice to be happy doing whatever it is that I am doing. Not to play down choices. I have some very big ones and making sure I use wisdom in my decisions is going to play an important part in my happiness. However, ultimately I am not in danger of making any “wrong” choices at this point in my life. (Maybe unwise ones, but that is an entirely different subject.)
I can’t wait to be old and funny and cool like Dick.
One of the wacky things about visiting another country is familiarizing yourself with the local slang. While in New Zealand I picked up a few words that I plan to integrate into my own vocabulary, in order or add to my hip-ness factor. I figure I am pretty un-hip these days, being cut off from most pop culture and all so every little bit helps right?
Not that being hip is really all that important to me…. I am pretty happy these days with my geekish out of touch self. Maybe eccentric is what I am looking for instead.
Anyway Words:
Bloody – can be used as an exclamation, swear word, or to exaggerate anything else.
Slapper – (pronounce: Slap –uh ) Lose women
Well it turns out that I am going to need a chest x-ray, in order to get my NZ Working Holiday Visa. Since Samoa is not a “no risk” or “low risk” for TB country they need me to prove that I don’t have and never have had TB. Which means getting a chest x-ray and having a certified doctor fill out the paper work. And while it is not impossible it is a pain in the ass, and another expense.
At this point I am still waffling about what to do afterwards. When I started this journey I had a long list of places I wanted to travel to once I finished with the Peace Corps. Then slowly over the course of two years that list got smaller and smaller due to the realities of time, money, and my ability (or I should say inability) to live out of a suitcase. I would still like to visit the South island of NZ, possibly living and working there for a short period of time. I would still like to travel to India, France and New York. But at this point I also want to be home with my family beginning the new phase of my life. It’s not that I see the past two years as putting my real life on hold, I am just ready, really ready to begin whatever it is that comes next. I am very thankful for my time with the Peace Corps. It has been an amazing experience. One that I think was necessary in helping me become the person I want to be. And it is not over yet. I plan to spend the next few months savoring my life here.
But I will admit I am anxious to get on with my life. Also I am looking forward to being closer to my family (and friends). So that leaves me with a dilemma. I could forgo the traveling, which would save my money (which I am really going to need for education) and get me home to my loved ones sooner. Or I could do some sort of abbreviated travel in the hopes that it sates my wanderlust. If I decide to forgo the travel, I wouldn’t have to bother with the chest x-ray. And I could in theory be home for Turkey day this year. The idea of Thanksgiving with my huge family is very… lovely to me right now.
On the other hand… I really love the idea of spending a few weeks working on a farm someplace in NZ. What other chance will I have in my life to learn to sheer sheep, or spend all day working with horses, or picking grapes, or any of the other farm stay opportunities in NZ.
So GAH…. I don’t know what to do. Which is fine. I’m sure I will figure it out. For now, I am conflicted. Try to get a chest x-ray or not?
Earlier last month I broke wackyfish.
Sorry…
I didn’t mean to.
Then I went on vacation and didn’t manage to get it fixed before I left…
But I think it is fixed now and I will be trying to back date a few posts.