I think I may need to start applying for some jobs.
I don’t really want to, but I vaguely concerned about money, school and my future in general. I am excited at all of the possibly ahead of me, but I worry a little. I think it may be a sign of growth that I waited this long before beginning to be concerned. Amazing what two years of Faifailemu will do to you.
So, I’m writing again. I spent the morning writing like a mad woman. Technically I am not supposed to start until Nov 1st. But yesterday I came up with the concept for my NaNoWriMo novel and it has sort of gripped me. I have mostly refrained from writing actual parts of the book and am trying to stick to making notes.
I must say… it feels really good to be writing like this again. It feels… right.
The whole concept of the book revolves around Samoa and my PC experience. I sort of feel like if I am ever really supposed to that write book… now is the time to do it. I am close to being finished so I have a more complete experience and some perspective. It is happening/ed so it is fresh enough in my mind. And of course at this moment in time it is an experience that is very dear to me. All of which explains why I am so gripped by the concept (at the moment anyway). It does however lend me to doubt my ability as a writer… what happens when the fire in me for this dies down? Or if it doesn’t die down and I do manage to write a phenomenal first book, what the hell do I do to follow it? I’d have to go live in India with Sherpas or something to top this. (Which is not exactly out of the question…we’ll see what happens)
Ok, I am straying from the point. The point is… I think any writer can write about a great experience. It takes a great writer to write about just any experience. I worry I am not that great writer…
In other news
Gywnn agreed to give me singing lessons when I got home. So that is neat.
I also seem to have developed a mild Backgammon addiction as of late. What is that about?
How is it that time can run so quickly and so slowly at the same time?
How exactly is that possible?
Also I am NaNoWriMo-ing…
What is that you say?
That is a crazy idea?
Crazy why?
Crazy maybe because in the month of November I have to wrap up my life, move it across an ocean, and then readjust to life someplace else, all while not having consistent access to a computer and limited time resources…. Well ok maybe it is a little far fetched… But here I quote my favorite dwarf…. “Certain death. Slim chance of success. What are we waiting for?” (- Gimli, ROTK)
Now I just have to pick something to write about…
I woke up Monday morning feeling sore all over, like I had been run over by a truck. I just assumed it was an extended fall out from Saturday night’s beer fest at the 80’s party. I am after all getting older and I drink a lot less, so it always seems a lot worse. I figured the soreness would be gone by Tuesday. No love. I woke up feeling just as bad, and figured… “I guess I deserve this”. After work I ran into Clare at the office who said she spent Sunday evening and Monday ill. Mo called me last night and said the same thing. As did Pete and Jona. (So all the people I was with on Sunday) I’m not sure why but it never occurred to me that I might have a bug and that is why I felt like crap. We all got flu shots so maybe I thought I was covered. And while I can’t recall specifically having a fever, it is very possible (maybe even likely) that I had a low grade fever for several days and simply didn’t notice. I felt run down and sore. I find it interesting that I felt like it was my fault and that I deserved to feel like crap, when in reality I was probably fighting something off.
Moving right along… Tuesday evening arrives and I find myself at the PC office in my usual “I don’t want to go to yoga, I just want to go home and be a bump on my couch” head space. I figure out that I am probably ill to some degree and that is likely why I am sore and my shoulders are in knots. I then had a fight with myself about going to yoga. I go anyway thinking that I will probably feel better afterwards. Before class starts I am standing around with Taialofa (the teacher) and she asks what kind of class are we in the mood for… I blather something about a “cleansing” class. She nodded and moved on.
Then she started the class with lots of sun salutations and dancing warrior asana’s to warm up our bodies and get us sweating. What do you know… it worked. After class I felt, much less sore and more energized.
And then the cute boy in my yoga class gave me a ride home.
The more I practice… the more I think that yoga is magic.
I just finished re-reading The Bussiness, by Ian Banks. Someone I knew a long time ago introduced me to Ian Banks, and at the time I remember liking his work. I still like it but I think I appreciate it a whole lot more now. Sure some of the technology is dated. And in this book, he is a man writing a female character. Sometimes, you can tell. However being someone who used to have a well paying technology job and leaving all that for two years in the Peace Corps I found it so much more enjoyable the second time around. Which is neat since I don’t usually have the patience to read things twice.
In sort of other news. I’ve begun sifting through my bookshelves in order to figure out what to do with all of my books. So far I have them sorted into three piles….the “Defiantly take these to the PC Office right away” pile, the “I’m not quite sure, or not ready to let go yet” pile and the “I will most likely pack these and take them home” pile. The Middle pile is currently the largest. It generally takes me a while to let go of books. I usually have to do it slowly over a period of time. So I guess it is a good thing that I have started now.
So that was quite the weekend.
I remember how insane and whirlwind my last few weeks in America were before I left, and this is beginning to feel very … similar.
Friday I took most of the day off. I got up and had coffee with the Aunties of course and then left my office about 9:30 and headed to the PC office for the Group 71 staff appreciation tea. I had made some banana bread the night before and M brought it down to the office for me so I didn’t have to take it to work with me. The staff seemed to really enjoy the Tea, and M did a great job of putting the whole thing together. We gave some special gifts to The CD, our APCD and the PCMO. Who all seemed to be delighted with them. I wonder what life without a 15 person support team is going to be like?
After the tea Mo and I headed off to run errands, before meeting up with M and L at my house around 12:30. We had a quick lunch at Le Moana on our way out of town and arrived at Virgin Cove about 2pm. Where we checked in and all promptly fell asleep for a few hours in our comfortable Fales, as the ocean breeze cooled us down and the sound of the surf on the beach lulled us into dreamland. At some point we got up and had some dinner. Instead of staying for the Fia Fia M and I opted for a walk on the beach. The breeze was nice, as the weather here has turned… still and humid.
Saturday we got up and had a nice breakfast. Then I went for a nice long walk. I walked for almost an hour, along the beach, past a lake full of mangrove trees, through what looked like a tropic rainforest. It was nice. I ended my walk by meeting up with the others on the beach and sunbathing for about 15 min. Then we packed up and left around 11.
When we got back to town I had to shop and get my costume for the 80’s party ready.
I managed to get food, since my fridge looked like a bachelor had moved into my house and domestic Dorie had moved out. (Contents: Mustard, Beer, Water, and a few rotten vegetables.) Then I turned the used pair of Jeans I bought at Mr. Lava Lava into a denim skirt, and cut up the black shirt I bought to resemble something out of the 80’s. I was hoping to find a t-shirt with Whitesnake, or Def Lepard or some other fabulous hair band, on it to cut up but I’m afraid Mr Lava Lava was all out of them. Then I took a nap.
I went down to Viavase at about 7 to meet up with C and the girls before the party. We got there at about 7:45. I sat with Jona, Aarona, and Manu most of the evening. It was really nice to have a chance to hang out with Jona. We are so very close but haven’t been able to spend much time together since he became a radio DJ rock star. Mo came over and hung with us for a while. WOW I can’t believe our time together like this is almost up….
Sunday morning was nice and slow. P and I sat on my front porch and tried to savor the morning. I have to keep bringing myself back to a place were I remember to be in the moment and experience it fully, instead of getting caught up in the unknown of whatever is next. This is, what it is…. But I will miss it if I don’t pay attention to it and let myself be distracted.
Jona came over later and brought some treats. Among them, fried chicken, talo and palsami, and…. The first DVD of Bro Town! (Which if you have never heard of or haven’t seen, you should look into it… It is like, the Simpson’s meets South Park, with Pacific Islanders instead of Americans.) At some point I was able to work on (and finish) my dress for the costume party next weekend.
This afternoon I am off to the training village for a session with the Office trainees on Office life and politics in Samoa. It should be an interesting session.
Ok enough of this.
I have been working on the Crane (Bakasana) pose on and off for several years now. So it was really amazing (and funny) that on Tuesday night I was finally able to move my weight off my big toe and over my center, fully supporting myself with my arms. I held the pose for about 10 seconds, and then my arms got wobbly, my balance shifted, and I came crashing down. I looked at Taialofa and tried not to laugh. I didn’t want to disturb the whole class, and I wasn’t hurt. We were both thrilled I had finally made it!
My exposure to yoga began about two years before I left for the Peace Corps. My chiropractor at the time mentioned that some people had found back relief through yoga.
So I mentioned it to Nonnie and we decided to go see if we could find a class at our gym. We spent an hour in a packed yoga class pretty much totally unable to do any of the poses. And when the teacher introduced us to Crane, we both gave each other this… “you have got to be kidding” look. I didn’t think about yoga again for about a year.
About a year later I found a beginning yoga DVD at my local New Age bookshop and thought I would give it a try again and see. Starting off in my own private space at a very beginning level was just what I needed. I began with fifteen min in the morning, once a week or so. (I know, talk about slow!) I didn’t find I was getting any more fit, but I did notice I was more centered and focused during the day and that I slept better. Over time I worked my way up to more time. When I got to Samoa I decided I would try to really advance my practice so I could see more of the benefits. Shortly there after Taialofa (the islands ONLY yoga instructor) moved here. I was blessed with once a week classes. For about a year I managed to practice on my own pretty regularly in addition to the classes. I never did more than 20 – 30 min at a time because… well I have some mild ADD and get bored easily. But I do feel much better and I know that over the course of the past two years I have converted some of what was once flab into muscle tone.
I am hoping that when I am back in San Francisco I can get to classes regularly. The act of going to a class provides a lot more structure and motivation for me. But I also would love to find a way to make my own personal private practice more of a priority in my life.
Anyway, I started working more on the Crane pose a few months ago because it is supposed to tone your arms. And I will admit, I am vain. I am working on toning my arms as an accessory to my tattoo. What can I said… no one is perfect.
The agriculture show is in town.
22 specially bread for tropic weather sheep are being sold.
I am going to take the afternoon off (it is slow here, and go watch the auction.)
I swear my idea of “Entertainment” gets more and more bizarre.
So that was a rather intense weekend.
I won’t give you all of the details but I will outline a few highlights.
The group 71 anniversary dinner was like 10 people going on a date with each other. It was a little weird. Amanda and I had a drink before dinner and it was a nice time.
Faitala has it that, one of the new Trainee’s showed up for his first language session wearing combat boots, and an ie. When I heard this I laughed my ass off, but the recovering goth in me kept thinking “WOW that’s HOT”.
Later at the after part for the Fia fia same trainee got up and sang “A Boy named Su” with Pete. I am sorry I won’t get to stay to watch more of their antics.
Mo did up my dreads and put lots of flowers in my hair for the Fiafia and I wore the fancy blue dress I made. I sort of felt like I had my grandmothers tea cozy on my head, but lots of people said it looked neat. (I may possibly have pics… at some point in time.)
The fiafia went off without a hitch and a lot of people used words like “Best one ever”. I know the after party was certainly a lot of fun. I didn’t tell any jokes, but Pete and Brian stepped up to the plate and made sure that it was not a humorless program.
Sunday… Football at LeMoana, or actually I think they are calling themselves “Kofi Haus” now… whatever. Collins restaurant. The 9ers didn’t play so I had a nice relief from personal stakes in any of the games. That didn’t stop me however from taking Pete’s money on the Seattle, Houston game. What kind of sucker bet on Houston? I even gave him a 14 point spread… not that I needed it… but still.
When Mia wakes me up at 2am with her “I like to go insane and bark like a mad dog at the big lizard under the steps who taunts me” routine, I forget how much I am going to miss her and think “Oh good goddess will I be glad when this is over.” As soon as I am awake enough to realize what I am thinking… I always feel real bad.
Dumb Dog… How will I live without her?
Last summer when my parents came to visit me they gave me a present of a glass Pyrex knock off baking dish for my kitchen. It wasn’t cheep (for here) as far as household goods go but it has been very useful and much much appreciated. I have made countless cakes for the Aunties and baked all kinds of wonderful food for my guests in it.
Several months ago I sent my grandmother an e-mail requesting my Grumpa’s Banana Bread recipe, because it is simply the best banana bread/cake I have ever had. And banana’s are plentiful here. So I though I might give it a try. My grandmother gladly passed along the recipe and a few weeks ago I finally got around to trying it out. It turned out great and was a hit for everyone I made it for.
In fact it was such a hit that my Auntie Lia offered to bring me Fai (banana’s) from her plantation to make her a cake. Which I gladly agreed to do.
Last Thursday morning she showed up to Coffee with a HUGE shopping bag full of Fai. I was delighted. That evening (after a trip to the gym, and making dinner plans with the Mikaele and the girls across the street) I mixed up a huge double batch of banana bread batter. The recipe calls for 2 cups of banana’s and I doubled it so it had 4 cups in it, which means a lot of gooey batter. It also calls for some melted butter so during the mixing I melted the butter in a sauce pan on the stove. While it was melting I turned on the oven to pre-heat. Shortly thereafter the butter was melted, and like an idiot I turned off the power switch to the whole oven unit, instead of just the burner. (Most electronics here can be turned off at the plug in switch, which is nice for saving power.) Which of course meant I turned off the pre-heating oven.
I then proceeded to finish mixing up the batter and putting it in the large glass baking dish. I then proceeded to take it over to the stove and place it on the front burner (the one I had just used to melt the butter) and realized that the oven was off and not at all pre-heated. So I flipped the switch set the oven to heat and then left the room to go do something else while it heated. Thinking all the while to myself “Dorie, you can be such a spaz sometimes” for turning off the oven.
Several minutes later… while sorting laundry in my room Mia and I heard a loud popping noise followed by a shattering noise. It startled us so we went to investigate. What we found was a gloopy gooey mess on the stove. A mixture of banana glop, shattered glass, and baked onto the electric burner cake.
It seems I never actually turned off the burner that I had used to melt the butter.
It was a HUGE disaster that took me the better part of an hour to clean up.
By the time I was done, I was even more exhausted and rather upset and frustrated with myself. (And now missing my large glass baking dish.) Fortunate for me Mikaele came over and took me across the street for dinner, with friends who saw I was exhausted and cranky and made me laugh and enjoy myself. He also then later came back to the house with me and re-made a banana cake using my recipe and a smaller metal baking dish, so I had something for the Aunties the next morning. He is a very good boy that one.
I haven’t actually made anything more complicated than rice since then…
I have been looking for a new pair of sandals for about a month now. I have a very Carrie Bradshaw type obsession with shoes that has gone mostly un-attended to during my time here in Samoa. I thought maybe it would fade with time… but it never does.
If you want to buy any kind of shoe, more than your basic market flip flop then you are going to pay a whole lot more. But my feet are bad enough that I simply can’t get away with Market flip flops. So when I decided I needed a shoe that was a little bit fancier than my Chacos (which are GREAT! But not very pretty.) I knew I would have some hunting to do. Mo and I spent several lunch hours scouring the imported palagie stores and finally Today I found a pair of Sketcher Sandals that are pretty and comfortable and at least marginally affordable.
So I bought them. I bought shoes. I gave in to one of my vices, and at this point I am pretty ok with that.
Speaking of vices, and things that are pretty. I made a dress for the Fia Fia on Saturday with the sewing machine that Skye brought back from America in June. It turned out nice, so I took it over to the shop across from the PC office and had tropic designs hand painted on it, by a local artist. (Said local artist being a relative, and therefore giving me a discount.) I looks great and I hope to have pictures to upload on Monday.
Oh and also… the Aliens have invaded my tummy again… I think I may have eaten some bad fish… Wow I can’t wait for this sick part to be over with.
OMG… I left San Francisco exactly 2 years ago.
Where did my two years go.
I never really expected this day would come. I mean I knew it would but now that it has, I am a bit stymied. If nothing else it is a lesson in how short two years really is. (But actually I know it is a lot more.)
Last night I made my last trip to the airport to welcome new trainees. It is always a fun trip. Then this morning was the welcoming Ava ceremony. I had not previously managed to make it to one (other than my own) as I have always chosen to work or sleep through it in the past. It brought back all this emotion. And now I want to spend the afternoon in a dark Air Conditioned movie theater hiding myself and not feeling whatever it is that I think I may be feeling. It is all rather confusing right now. At some point I really need to sort it out… but not right now.
This past weekend was Lotu Tamiti, or White Sunday.
This is the weekend that the children (and everyone else) dress up in white and run the church service on Sunday and then are rewarded with ice cream, and gifts. It is pretty much the equivalent of Christmas in America. Sure they celebrate Christmas here, but I think Lotu Tamiti is a bigger deal for the children. It is in my family anyway.
Anyway being a big weekend, I decided we needed big plans.
Saturday Mo, Mikaele and Clare and I got a lift out to the new Aggie Grey’s resort out by the warf. It is on the way to our training village. We spent the day there having a nice lunch and sitting by the pool. In the afternoon a trip to the village was made to drop of mealofa (gifts), visit with the family’s and then make copious amounts of apologies for not staying for the actual Sunday services. We had a ride back to town that night and decided to make use of it since no busses would run again until Tuesday morning.
I felt sufficiently white Sunday celebrated. It was really a GREAT day!
Later Pete and I went up to Curry House for dinner and I’m not sure ate better, us or the Namu.
Sunday I worked on a dress, and then met up with some people at the office in the evening for games and a scary movie (which I didn’t actually watch because I was learning to play backgammon.)
Monday I spent most of the day working on various crafty projects. Julia and Nella came over in the afternoon for a sewing lesson. Nella and I made some sushi. It was a really mellow day.
I had wanted to go hang ou with Jona’s family on Sunday, because well… I love them and they love me and the holiday is all about kids and family. But it seems they got stuck at church late and I didn’t want to wait around. Sooo maybe next Sunday I will just crash their Toanai.
Anyway the new kids (WOW GRP 75, can you believe it!) fly in tonight and I am slated to be one of the volunteers who meets them at the airport.
How time flies.
I have a fungus.
It is not painful, or contagious or even annoying. It is just small white spots on my upper chest, neck and arms. Mostly in places that get a lot of sun.
It is not a big deal, lots of volunteers get it. And everyone says it goes away as soon as you leave here. Supposedly it has something to do with living in a place with high humidity and exposure to the sun. In which case I am shocked it took me this long to get it. I guess it is just another one of those wacky medical things that happens to volunteers. It is always something isn’t it.
In other news, I have begun the process of writing my DOS. It feels real weird to be writing about myself using the third person. I am probably as happy as I have ever been in my life at this point (I think I am wearing thirty years old pretty well). And it is nice to know that while the future is a bit scary from were I sit at this moment, ultimately it will only get better.
This morning Pisa brought me several beautiful white Gardenias for my hair. She or Auntie Lia bring me flowers for my hair just about every day. It just reinforces that I am indeed a tropic princess.
The conflict between my “I can’t wait to get home” and “I don’t want to leave” side grows stronger every day. I know several volunteers who have left their post with a real bad taste in their mouths. Serving is hard, and I totally understand being bitter at the end. And to some degree I am defiantly not nearly as sensitive (which could be spun as bitter) as I was when I got here. I am a lot of things that I wasn’t when I got here in fact. But I like who I am now… so I guess that is good. (Some days it is hard not to love being a tropic princess, other days it is real easy.)
This weekend was fun and eventful. One of our friends who owns a restaurant in town got cable (ESPN) and hosted a big Gridiron football party on Sunday. We saw most of the Raiders vs Dallas game and all of the 49ers vs Arizona game. Wow I love football (Granted I love it less when the 9ers lose but hey at least Dallas didn’t win either.) I have misssssed it!
And speaking of sports… Dude, the Sharks are playing again soon right? I will be home in time to go to games! I have to say, it was nice of the NHL to schedule there little two year break while I was out of country and couldn’t see games anyway.
This was in an e-mail I from Pele, a really good friend of mine who COS’ed in July. Jesus, Buddha, Goddess I miss that girl! The funniest part about that is that without the shared circumstance and experience in Samoa, I never would have been friends with her. Even if we had managed to meet each other in the states we would never have been close or even friends for that matter. Peace Corps does strange things to people. I am so thankful it has given me everything it has.
“I miss Samoa in many ways, I miss the camaraderie of Peace Corps, and I miss my friends, but life here in the states just moves on and I always feel like I am still trying to catch up with it. Take moments out of your day to revel in the simplicity of life in Samoa, and not paying bills and not worrying about a car, and not watching reality TV, and listen to the rain coming from miles away. Really listen to the ocean that I have not heard in 3 months now. And know that I am watching all new seasons of Gilmore Girls and West Wing weekly, and thinking of you and all that we talked about on that sacred fart smelling porch of yours. I love you girl!
Pele”