Wackyfish

Siblings

It is nice to have a project to work on.
The current project is my sister’s house.
It also happens to be the house I grew up in so it has a greater sentimental value.
Working on the living room has been like restoring an old car that was once like a member of the family. As we wash the walls with TSP the memories seem to seep out of the walls and delight and haunt us simultaneously. The alcove where all of our sports trophies sat for years. The soot stained outlines on the walls where the progressive family pictures once hung. Each showcased a bad haircut or set of braces we would rather forget. We wash away the cumulated dirt and revive the love and laughter we experienced here.
Deb and I still respond in unison to most questions. We communicate to each other in a series of funny faces and giggles. Our sides hurt from giggling all day long.
James is here as well, and the three of us together are a powerful force of contentment and nostalgia. I’ve come home. Apparently it can still be done.

I am back in the US.
In San Francisco to be exact.
I forgot how beautiful it is here. M and I were up north in Sonoma this weekend and the turning of fall is amazing. I really missed seasons… tho I didn’t really miss the cold.
With nighttime lows in the high 30’s (Fahrenheit) I am freezing my tropic butt off.
So far I spent most of the week, with my family and my best friend. Tho Thursday night I had a chance to see some of my nearest and dearest at Gwynn’s house. I spent the later part of the evening laughing and giggling with some of my favorite local people. It was a nice reminder that Samoans are not the only people who know how to laugh. (They are defiantly still the pro’s!)
I have a date tomorrow to help my sister work on her house. We are going to clean the walls and sand out the window frames so maybe on Tuesday we can paint. We are also going to go over to the community college and see if I can get financial aid and class registration stuff worked out for January.
I have a about a million other “grown up life” things to accomplish tonight so I am going to go do that now.
I hope all is well in Samoa, and wherever the rest of my friends are.

The Farewell Savai’i tour

I am writing this entry from the PC office in Salelologa.
I took the boat over on Sunday morning with a few of the trainees who were headed over for Volunteer visits. The boat ride wasn’t to bad, but it did wear me out. I was able to get out to Asau Sunday night and visit with my friends there. Monday I headed over to Taga. Sala and I spent the morning in the workshop of a friend of hers, Filemu making elei. In the afternoon we napped and in the evening we went down to the blowholes for a sun set.
This morning I am headed back to town on the noon boat.
It is a little boat, (it’s Tuesday so the big boat is in for repairs) so I anticipate a much more difficult trip.
It is been a lot of fun for a farewell trip.
Fa Soifua Savai’i

When Super Man couldn’t find his phone booth

There are some things that I don’t remember very well. I am thought of by many of my friends as “scatterbrained”. Which is fine with me. I have sort of come to embrace that part of me in fact. In order to make sure my life moves on with minimal inconvenience from this affliction I long ago developed lots of small routines the would help me move through the daily in’s and outs of life, without have to remember important things.
For instance, I walk in the door, and put my keys in the same place all the time. I don’t even think about this… at this point my muscles remember what to do and perform their task without the assistance of my head. I never have to spend a panicked morning (anymore) looking for my keys because… they are always in the same place. I have hundreds of routines like this. I know it may be a contrived state of peace, but it makes for a more peaceful life on the whole so I guess I don’t mind so much.
When my routines are interrupted and I have to come face to face with my own limitations… I find I suffer greatly. I suffer from inconvenience and anxiety first, and then disappointment in myself, secondly. I am better than I used to be about not beating myself up so much for my failings. But still not completely there.
Anyway, bear with me there is a point to this….
So currently, my routines are being disrupted. I have started to sort through my things, so stuff is not in it’s normal places. I have a million little things to remember to do and go and accomplish and schedule before I leave. I can’t remember a million little things… I simply can not. I can remember big things… several big things… and even many little things…. But not everything that is going on right now….
So things are going to fall through the cracks. I am going to make promises and forget to follow through (actually I am trying real hard right now NOT to make any promises at all, for this reason specifically but… still). I am never going to do it on purpose but it will happen. I wish I was more together than I am… but this is me.
I will do what I can, and after that, oh well. I no longer hold any illusions that I am super woman.
And that is just going to have to be good enough.

Running in the rain.

I took the bus home at lunch time yesterday so I could have lunch at home, and do a few nagging chores around my house. It was raining when I left my office and thankfully I didn’t have to wait long for the bus. I love the bus ride home from work. The bus route circles my village and I get to see a lot of friends and neighbors on the way. My friend Emily got on the bus and sat next to me in Vaivase, which is actually most of the way home. She goes to Vivase primary school and I would guess that Emily is about 11 years old. She doesn’t speak any English but she is always happy and excited to see me on the bus and we try to have broken conversations in Fa’aSamoa. Most of the time we end up in giggles because one or the other of us is having difficulties saying something.
The bus made it’s customary village circle and I showed her how to wave palagie style…
Elbow elbow wrist wrist… much laughing ensued. I’m sure we made a spectacle of ourselves.
Emily lives up the road from me, so we get off at the same spot. Eventually the bus pulled up to our stop and we got off the bus together. The clouds above choose just that moment to poor down a torrent of rain. Emily looked at me, took my hand and said tamoe the timu. Which means run in the rain.
We ran up the short hill together hand in hand getting thoroughly soaked through and laughing the whole way.
Please goddess, never let me forget how to find this kind of joy in the simple things of life. This place has been such a blessing to me.

A vacation from Paradise

I ran off for one last weekend at Lalomanu.
A few of the nearest and dearest went with, and we had a really great time. When we left on Friday I had a general overwhelmed feeling of “I have SO much to do in the next few weeks.” And now I have basically decided I don’t really care. My DOS and Resume are both basically finished. I was worried about packing up my house and passing on my things, but really anything I don’t want to take I can leave in the house and Pisa can use it. With her large family there isn’t much she can’t use or pass on. I was really worried about visiting my training family, but … I am letting that go. Not only do I not really want to go out there, but I simply don’t have the time, and I don’t want to stress out and try to squeeze it in. They will be disappointed, maybe even hurt. And for that I am sorry. I don’t want to cause them pain of embarrassment. But I am simply not “that volunteer”. There are many who are, and many who are, are good friends of mine. I admire and respect those who can embrace the Kua lifestyle and make it their own. It just never happened for me. My life was here in town. With Pisa and her family, with my Aunties, with Iese and the kids next door. I DO have family in my life… just not the ones in Kua that the PC assigned me.
Anyway… back to this weekend…
I dropped my pup off with Skye Friday around noon, and we headed off to the beach. On the way we made one stop for mangoes, and had two Chinese fire drills. The second of which occurred in front of a fale that appeared to have a matai meeting going on. The funny old Samoan men in inside seemed appropriately amused at the “crazy palagi” running around their own car, with their hands in the air as they screamed and yelled.
We got to the beach around 2 in the afternoon and checked in with Tia, the owner. She is an old friend and staying at Taufua is always like going for a visit to the home of an old friend. It is my happy place.
Friday evening was pretty mellow. We swam, played some cards, got some sun, had a great meal and all went to bed pretty early. Saturday everyone was up early for a “before the sun becomes oppressive” swim. Which was nice. The boys went for a Scuba dive and Sara and I spent the morning on the beach. I fell asleep with my book over my face at one point. I wish someone had got a picture… I’m sure I looked ridiculous.
Saturday evening much revelry was had. I won’t elaborate further lest I incriminate myself and my conspirators. {winked grin}
Sunday morning we all lazed around. We had a slow breakfast and then drank beer, played Rumikub and ate a late To’onaii. We got back to town sometime around 3. I ran into P at the office and after picking up my pup from Skye we met up for a late movie and dinner date.
So after a weekend of doing a whole lot of nothing I feel much better about life in general. This is my last week at work, and I have a report to write on the project. I have a few other Peace Corps things to take care of this week. But I am not really going to worry about them. I will do my best to get everything taken care of, while at the same time try to enjoy what is left.
This is already to long for me…… I am bored with myself… so I will stop now.
I hope everyone else had a good weekend as well.

So mo leaves tonight.
My best friend in country is done…
It’s not like she hasn’t left before but she was always coming back.
This is likely the end for us. I don’t mean to think negatively but realistically our paths will likely separate for good here. Sure we will always be friends. And we will always have this experience we can share. But again… it will never be like this again.
And while I am really excited about my own future and the “what’s next” for me… well let me just say… Goodbyes suck.
So mo leaves tonight.
My best friend in country is done…
It’s not like she hasn’t left before but she was always coming back.
This is likely the end for us. I don’t mean to think negatively but realistically our paths will likely separate for good here. Sure we will always be friends. And we will always have this experience we can share. But again… it will never be like this again.
And while I am really excited about my own future and the “what’s next” for me… well let me just say… Goodbyes suck.

Sooo in memory of NOW

Mo and I hamming it up (ok I am the one doing most of the hamming) at her 80's party.

The update…

I am NaNoWriMo-ing… so I may not be writing much to post here….
Yes, I could post what I have written here… but I’m not gonna
However here are a few highlights from this past weekend.

Friday Mikaele and I make ginger cookies…

Saturday – The very last VAC meeting I have to run.. .or even attend. I think it went well. Then the All Col planning meeting… again I think it went well. I am not in charge of this event… so that is nice. Then off to Aarons for the childrens Halloween party… which was fun. I like playing with kids. But I had a huge headache so I went home.
I took a nice nap and woke up around 7pm, when I decided that even tho I had made a costume, I was going to skip the Halloween party. At which point Mo and Mikaele showed up with Dinner from the Curry house. They then badgered me until I got into the shower… got dressed and went to the party. This was fun… for the 40 min I was there. Everyone had really creative costumes. I was so impressed with everyone.
I then went home were I attempted to pass out on my floor. My head hurt and I was cranky. Mia, knew I was in pain and came over and put her head in my lap. I swooned hard, and instantly felt better.

Sunday – I got up late and headed down to the office for picture swap. Which it turned out didn’t happen, but the trainees were there and we got to visit with them some. I then headed over to Kofi Haus to see if I could catch a football game. Mo and Darrel met me there and we had Breakfast/Lunch. Then I went home and passed out on my couch again.

Monday – I went to work, I went home, I cleaned my house, I passed out on my couch.

A few observations… I am busy, but not to busy to make time to pass out… I seem to have done it a few times this weekend. I must have been tired. Also… my dog rules.